In recent years, I have learned that few aspects of pastoral ministry are as crucial and challenging as striking the proper balance between authoritative proclamation and gentle shepherding, both from the pulpit and in counseling.

The Biblical Mandate

The Apostle Paul, writing to his protégé Timothy, provides a clear directive:

Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching (2 Timothy 4:2).

This passage encapsulates the multifaceted nature of ministry—it requires both firmness in truth and patience in delivery.

The Example of Christ

Our Lord Jesus Christ, the perfect model of ministry, demonstrated this balance impeccably. He spoke with unparalleled authority, causing people to marvel (Matthew 7:28-29), yet He also embodied gentleness, describing Himself as "gentle and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29).

Wise Words from Spurgeon

Charles Spurgeon, the "Prince of Preachers," was known for his powerful oratory but also for his pastoral heart. He once said in Lectures to My Students:

If you have any tender thing to say, say it very tenderly. Wind the plaster round and round before you stick it on the sore place. Some men do not know how to handle a wounded conscience.

Elsewhere, he remarked:

Brethren, if you are not tenderhearted, you are not fit for the ministry. You need not be looking out for another occupation, but you need to be looking up for a changed heart.

Tenderness is a vital qualification for ministry.

Personal Reflections

As someone with a spirited personality and a brash New Yorker attitude, I've been consciously working to reform my speech and style over the last decade. This journey became particularly evident to me during 2020, when I was deeply involved in content creation on TikTok and YouTube. On those platforms, I realized that my natural tendency to be rough around the edges in tone could often come across as brash, which wasn’t always the message I intended to convey.

I've also encountered situations where raising my voice is necessary, such as yesterday when I was preaching at a physical rehab facility where many patients are hard of hearing. Balancing the need for volume with the desire to maintain gentleness and solemnity is challenging in such cases.

Despite these challenges, I am striving to avoid emulating overly forceful preaching styles, even when my passion for the truth burns brightly. This is particularly difficult when it aligns with my natural inclination. However, I am committed to following Christ's example of speaking the truth in love, rather than adopting the more aggressive reputation of preachers like Steven Anderson.

Application in Counseling

The principles of balancing gentleness and assertiveness are equally crucial in counseling settings. Here, the intimacy of one-on-one interaction requires even greater sensitivity. A counselor must be prepared to speak hard truths when necessary, but always with a demeanor that conveys care and understanding.

Practical Considerations

I've come away with the following considerations to remind myself of:

1. Know Your Audience: Whether in the pulpit or at the restaurant giving counsel, understanding the spiritual state and needs of those you're ministering to is crucial in determining the appropriate tone.
2. Vary Your Approach: Not every situation requires the same tone. And obviously, a whole sermon or entire conversation should be modulated. Some texts and occasions call for stern warnings, while others demand comforting assurances with a soft tone.
3. Speak the Truth in Love: As Paul exhorts in Ephesians 4:15, truth and love must go hand in hand. The harshest truths can be spoken with evident love and concern.
4. Cultivate Humility: Remember that you, too, are under the authority of God's Word. This humility will naturally temper your tone.
5. Pray for Wisdom: Seek divine guidance in preparing for ministry, asking for the Spirit's help in striking the right balance.
6. Self-Reflection: Regularly examine your speech patterns and delivery style. Are you defaulting to brashness out of habit, or are you consciously choosing your tone based on the needs of the moment?

Conclusion

The balance between authoritative proclamation and gentle shepherding is not achieved through a formula but through prayerful dependence on the Holy Spirit and a deep immersion in God's Word. As ministers or aspiring ministers, we must always remember that we are called to be both heralds of God's truth and undershepherds of Christ's flock. May we, by God's grace, faithfully prepare for this calling, learning to speak the truth boldly yet with a shepherd's heart.

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